Where do I go from here?

My family has been working behind my back at selling land to my sister and her husband to build a house. When I was told kind of 'through the grapevine' I was furious and confronted my dad about it. He denied it and said nothing was going on and if anything like that would ever happen I would be in the know. My sister then let it slip on the way to dog agility class that they were building a house on the farm the moment their house near Minneapolis sold. Well it sold and the other night the contractor my dad works for was over here talking to them about building a house.

I was irate. Why?

It has been my 'long term plan' to purchase the farm, in its entirety, from my dad when I was between 40 and 50. Even if I moved to Colorado, it would have only been short term (5-10 years) and I have always said I wanted to live on the farm, try to farm with cattle and sheep as my source of income (hundreds of commercial animals) and that the landscaping and lawn care business that I am currently doing would be a secondary income and could either do it 'for fun' when farming was allowing it, or hire someone to run it for me and work full time on the farm. (more so than I do now).

I've talked about this plan since before I graduated college to some extent (the living here and having it continue as a working farm part) and its been known to most of my friends and family I thought for at least the 7 years that I've lived here post college. When in discussion with my parents and/or sister they were all stunned and baffled that I wanted to remain here and farm. their exact words were " I had no idea you wanted to live here and farm".

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WHAT?!!!!

My parents have told me that they are going to 'gift' my sister 10 acres and me 10 acres. What am I going to do with 10 acres? Granted that seems like a lot but our farmstead is on atleast 5 acres and then 5 acres of pasture? For 200 head of sheep and 100 head of cattle? I don't think that would work. 320 acres is the minimum I would be able to use wtih pastures, and field work, that I could sustain or even come close to providing for 50 cattle and 200 sheep, or 100 sheep and 75 cattle. I would have to plan on renting land to have 100 cattle and 200 sheep (just figures I'm throwing out, not defininte numbers, but numbers that I would need to keep alive in the industry and make some sort of income)

It is true that if my parents died in a car accident the farm is willed to both of us kids, each getting half. While i have no problem with that, I do have a problem with them BUYING the land prior to my parents death and thereby having me end up with only 160 acres, possibly as low as 120. Again a lot of land by most standards but to farm efficiently here I would need all the tillable acres and pasturable acres for both species of livestock.

Needless to say my goals of bovine and ovine producing will be more than likely numbered and I will have to decide between the two and more importantly decide if I should remain here or move away.

Its much easier to find a better paying job and have 20 sheep on a few acres anywhere else than here. It would be easier to meet people and meet the potential love of my life somewhere else. Really the only reason for staying to was to try and continue to farm this 5th generation Ramsay family farm. And with half the acreage possibly leaving my control, I wouldn't be able to do that.

I think what most hurts me is that they lied to my face about it. No one will give me a straight answer and everything in my future is now affected by this decision on THEIR part and leaving me out of the equation to just sit and wait.

On another note the dogs that my sister has that two years ago killed my goats by breaking out of their chain link kennel with a solid floor and roof (they chewed through the chain link) and then proceeded to climb over a 6 ft tall electrified fence to get into the goat pen and then make hamburger of goats was a breakign point with my family. I had made the decision to ask them to put their dogs down or never bring them back.

For anyone following this story most will know that they did not put them down, and have continuously brought them back to the farm breaking our agreement and putting all of my livestock at risk, time and time again. I know how most of you feel and appreciate the support but this is family and makes it terribly hard. If they would build on the pristine parcel of land that is coveted by all family members to build on (which is where they want to build naturally) they would be only 1/2 mile across a field to the sheep pasture fence....and their dogs are known to get out and leave for weeks at a time....something that makes me extremely nervous.

And yes it would be considered 'their land' and technically not be on the farm land but their dogs would nontheless be there again and be in sight of the sheep....its only a matter of time before they get out and if they come to the farm I have ever right to do what is necessary to protect my livestock.

So the terror of the saftey of the animals here (guineas, sheep, calves, my dogs, etc) and the lying to my face is most upsetting, hurtful and emotionally draining. So draining in fact that this weekend Steve Peterson (Barb's husband) actually got under my skin and I had to firmly and strernly offer him my opinion on what he was saying and made the entire day very stressful and awkward at the show since we were grooming together. In the end it was reconciled but it is so unlike me!

There is a lot more to it and after rereading this it seems as if I am making a huge deal out of nothing but it is in fact a huge deal. Its changing my future and goals and while that might be OK, had I kinown this 8 years ago I would have never came home and would have found somewhere else to live and work and play.

The best part is my sister grew up on the farm but never left the house except to get to her car. She never weeded the garden, mowed the lawn, planted trees, milked cows, did chores, fed the dog etc. Why would she want/need/desire to live on the farm or own any of the land? My dad has three sisters and none showed interest in coming back to the farm. Ever. Not even to build a house to live.

And while my sister is one of my best friends, as are my parents, it bothers me greatly about this situation and it makes me uncomfortable and of course the only one who seems to be on 'my side' of the equation. I don't like it and i feel quite hopeless.

I'm all about compromises but i can't be guaranteed that I can still rent or work the land that my sister is getting or buying. That makes it hard for down the road. And what happens if someday they cannot keep the land and it goes outside the family?? Not something I care to think about. My parents told me that they are doing it to make sure we are both taken care of. I know that my sister and her husband make 4x as much money as I do and are quite well off already, with them being around my age (29). If I ever made that much money in 5 years I would be happy! So I don't think they need any land to be 'taken care of'. But again, its just my side of the story and no matter how diplomatic and neutral I'm trying to make this story, I'm sure its not completely coming off that way.

I just am emotionally drained and am not really talking to my family, which is very difficult considering they all currently live 100 yards away in another house.

Where do I go from here?